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No.  LXXIX. 

THE  MINOR  DRAMA. 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE: 


WHY  DON’T  SHE  MARRY? 

A MUSICAL  BURLETTA,  IN  TWO  ACTS. 


BY  THOMAS  HAYNES  BAYLY. 


WITH  CAST  OP  CHARACTERS,  STAGE  BUSINESS,  COSTUMES, 
RELATIVE  POSITIONS,  &c.,  &0. 


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v".  ' 'V '■ 


FRENCH’S 

ajt  acti'ns  ISOition. 
No.  LXXIX. 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE; 


OR, 

¥HT  DON’T  SHE  MARRY? 

A 

MUSICAL  BUELETTA, 

IN  TWO  ACTS. 


BY  THOMAS  HAYNES  BAYLY, 

OF  ‘‘  ONE  HOUR,  OR  THE  OARNIVAL  BALL  FORTY 

j AND  fifty;”  ‘‘comfortable  service;”  “sold  fob 
I A SONG,”  ETC.  ETC* 


TO  WHICH  ARE  ADDED, 

A !)escription  of  the  Costtini'e — Cast  of  the  Characters — Entrances  and  Exit»— 
Relative  Positions  of  the  Performers  on  the  Stage,  and  the  whole  of  the 
Stage  Business. 


A 


PERFORMED  AT  THE  ROYAL  OLYMPIC  THEATRE,  LONDOR, 
AND  AMERICAN  THEATRES. 


i 

NEW  YOBK: 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  PUBLISHER,  < 

122  Nassau  Street,  (Up  Stairs.) 


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®ast  of  tje  ©tavacters. — The  iSwiss  Cottag» 


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L.  means  First  Entrance^  Left.  R.  First  Entrance^  Right.  S.  E.  L.  Second  Entrance,  Left.  S.  E.  R.  Second  En- 
trance, Right.  U.  E.  L.  Upper  Entrance,  Left.  U.  E.  R.  Upper  Entrance,  Right.  C.  Centre.  L.  C.  Left  Centre.  R.  C. 
Right  of  Centre.  T.  E L.  Third  Entrance,  Left.  T.  E.  R.  Third  Entrance,  Right.  C.  D.  Centre  Door.  D.  R.  Dooj 
Right.  D.  L.  Door  Left.  U.  I).  L.  Upper  Door,  Left.  U.  D.  R.  Upper  Doo^,  Right 

The  Reader  is  supposed  to  be  on  the  Stage,  facing  the  Audience. 


C 0 S t u m e. — The  Swiss  Cottage. 


NATZ. — Yellow  nankeen  jacket,  with  puffs,  full  breeches  to  match- 
striped  stockings — blue  striped  shirt — shoes  and  straw  hat. 

Max — French  corporal’s  fatigue  jacket — white  pants. — ^black  gaiters^ 
foraging  cap.  V 

SOLDIERS — Similar  to  Max 

PEASANTS — French  jackets,  breeches,  &c. 

LISETTE  — Blue  bodice — red  French  petticoat — striped  ^tocking»w 
shoes,  &c. 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE: 

OR, 

¥HY  DON’T  SHE  MARRY! 


SCENE  I. — The  interior  of  a Swiss  cottage — a door  on  each  side  of  he 
stage,  and  a large  centre  door,  which  being  open,  the  mountains  a‘,e 
visible — Tables,  chair,  a large  arm  chair,  and  a little  three-legged  smol 

Enter  Swiss  Peasants,  male  and  female — Janet  and  Louise  in  the  front. 

CHORUS, 

Natz  has  got  the  letter, 

He  will  soon  be  here  ; 

Ere  he  comes,  ’tis  better 
We  should  disappear. 

Let  us  go  ; — hereafter 
We  will  all  be  gay  ; 

Now  a fit  of  laughter 
Would  the  jest  betray. 

Janet.  And  now,  pray  tell  me,  why  you  are  all  so  merry  T 
Louise.  I thought  you  knew  all  about  it.  Listen.  You  know  how 
long  poor  Mr.  Natz  Teik  has  sighed  for  the  hand  of  Lisette,  and  sighed 
in  vain  : well,  to-day  he  has  received  an  avowal  of  her  affection,  and  a 
promise  that  she  will  marry  him. 

Jan.  From  herself! 

Louise.  He  thinks,  poor  man,  they  come  from  herself  But  there  lies 
the  joke  ; we  wrote  the  letter,  and  sent  it  to  him. 

Jan.  Oh,  poor  fellow,  I pity  him  ; he  will  die  when  he  discovers  the 

trick  ; here  he  comes,  and  how  elated  he  seems — I can  scarce  help 
aughing. 

Louise.  Come, — he  must  not  see  us  laugh  ; and  if  he  asks  for  our 
congratulations,  we  shall  never  keep  our  countenances.  Come,  away, 
[Exeunt  Louise,  Janet,  and  Peasants  at  centre,  L. 

Enter  Natz  at  centre,  r.  in  ecstacy,  nodding  to  Peasants  as  he  passes 
them. 


THE 'SWISS  COTTAGE, 


5 


i^atz.  She  is  min^!  She  is  my  own  dear  little  pet  Lisette,  after  all 
- i can  scarcely  contain  myself — I could  walk  up  the  mountain  in  three 
stiides— I could  jump  over  the  moon — who  would  have  thought  it  1 — so 
cold,  so  cruel,  so  indifferent  about  me  ; and  now  to  write  me  a letter, 
all  of  her  own  accord,  telling  me  she  doats  upon  me,  and  longs  to  be 
my  wife  ! [kissing  the  letter.]  I must  read  it  again,  [reads.]  ‘ Dear  Mr. 

Natz,  I can  no  longer  help  telling  you  that  I love  you’ [he  struts 

about,  adjusting  his  dress.]  She  can’t  help  it  ! — hem — I am  a happy 
fellow-r-I’m  richer  than  any  young  man  in  the  village  ; but  thatdadi  not 
influence  her.  No,  no,  She  knew  it  when  she  used  to  snub  me  ; for 
I told  her  how  many  cows  I had,  and  how  much  milk  they  gave  me. 
But  it  wasn’t  the  cows — it  wasn’t  the  milk — it  wasn’t  the  money ; she 
loves  me  for  myself — it  was  my  figure  ! — and  what  a beautiful  creature 
she  is — so  elegant ! Ah,  1 hear  her  voice — she  is  coming  down  the 
mountain  path — I’m  all  flutter  and  agitation — I’ll  stand  aside  and  look 
at  her  for  a minute  or  two,  and  then  I shall  have  courage  to  speak. 

■ [Exit  at  door,  p.  s. 

Enter  Lisette  at  centre  door,  singing,  her  Swiss  basket  at  her  hack 
— unfastens  her  basket,  and  puts  it  on  table  at  the  back  of  the  stage, 

SONG. 

Light  is  my  heart,  lighter  than  ever — 

Here  is  my  home,  and  I’m  content ; 

Why  should  I wed — never,  oh  never 
All  the  long  day  I should  repent. 

Oh  delightful  hour  ! 

I’m  in  Pleasure’s  bower — 

Every  where  a flower 
Springs  up  in  my  way  ; 

No  dull  spouse  to  teaze  me, 

Or  with  frowns  to  freeze  me, 

All  men  strive  to  please  me — 

Happy,  happy  day  ! 

Natz,  who  has  been  peeping,  advances. 

his.  Bless  me,  Mr.  Natz,  you  here. 

Nat.  [embarrassed.]  Yes,  Miss  Lisette — hem.  [aside.]  How  my  heart 
flutters — pit  pat  ! [aloud.]  I — I wonder  you  are  surprised  to  see  me — 
you  understand  1 

Lis,  No,  indeed,  I don’t. 

Nat.  The  only  wonder  is,  that  you  were  not  here  to  receive  me  ! 
hey  1 

Lis.  Come,  I like  that ! What  assurance  ! The  preceptor  told  me 
he  had  a letter  for  me — I knew  it  coul.l  only  be  from  my  brother,  and  I 
set  off  at  day-break  to  fetch  it.  Here  it  is. 

Nat.  [embarrassed]  Oh,  a letter!  Ah,  yes,  from  your  brother. 
[aside.]  I wanted  to  talk  about  her  own  letter  to  me.  [aloud.]  Hem — 
you  were  speaking  of  your  brother — I hope  he’s  not  killed  '! 

Lis.  How  can  he  be  killed,  stupid,  when  he  has  written  me  a letter  I 


6 THE  SWISS  COTTAGE.  ^ 

Nat.  True — it.  couldn’t  be  that  he  wrote  about  ,'Tut  don’t  say  stupid 
• — I don’t  quite  know  what  I’m  saying. 

Lis.  So  it  seems.  Oh,  my  dear,  dear  brother.  It  is  fifteen  years 
since  he  left  us,  but  it  seems  to  me  but  yesterday.  My  father  and 
mother  were  old,  and  rny  brother  called  me,  and  took  me  on  his  lap,  and 
gave  me  a kiss. 

Nat.  {a side. ^ Happy  man  ! 

Lis.  “ Good  bye,  dear  Lisette,”  said  he  ; “I  am  going  to  the  wars, 
and  perhaps  I shan’t  see  you  again  till  I dance  at  your  wedding.” 

Nat.  [rubbing  his  hands.'\  Ah  ! then  it’s  all  right. 

Lis.  How,  sir  ! '^hat  do  you  mean  by  al.  right  1 

Nat.  Why,  that  is  to  say — I don’t  exactly  know — because,  if  he  don’t 
come  to-day,  I shall  never  have  patience  to  wait  his  return,  nor  you 
neither. 

Lis.  Patience  ! — why,  what  do  you  mean  1 

Nat.  [nodding.^  We  can’t  put  olF  our  wedding. 

Lis.  Our  wedding  1 What  possesses  you  to  speak  to  me  in  this 
confident  way  1 — are  you  out  of  your  senses'? 

Nat.  Nearly  so,  and  no  wonder.  This  letter — this  dear  letter ; it’s 
not  from  my  brother,  and  it's  not  from  my  sister,  for  I’ve  got  neither 
one  nor  t’other,  but  it’s  from  a person  I love  better  than  all  the  world. 

Lis.  And  pray,  sir,  who  has  written  you  this  wonderful  letter  1 

Nat.  Ah,  you  pretend  not  to  know.  I declare  you  do  it  very  well — 
very  well  indeed.  I can’t  think  how  people  can  make  believe  like  that. 
Ha,  ha  ! Very  well,  1 declare. 

Lis.  What  can  you  mean '? 

Nat.  [flurried.^  Why — w'hy  this  is  your  own  letter,  to  be  sure — 
your  promise  to  marry  me  to-day — look  at  your  own  signature — [refl.d~ 
ing.]  “ Your’s  most  affectionately — Lisette.” 

Lis.  [snatching  the  letter '\  Affectionately  ! Nonsense,  sir,  you’re 
bewitched — I don’t  understand  all  this,  and  I can  neither  read  nor 
write. 

Nat.  [in  amazement.']  Not  write 

Lis.  No — that  is — I certaiwly  can  write  my  own  name. 

Nat.  [delighted.]  That’s  enough — you  signed  it. 

Lis.  Stop  a bit.  I certainly  can  write  my  own  name  ; but  when  I 
have  done  it,  and  very  nicely  too,  it  don’t  look  a bit  like  that ; no,  that’s 
not  my  I — mine  are  beautiful  I’s. 

Nat.  It’s  not  possible  that  this  is  a hoax.  If  I’ve  been  imposed  upon 
I shall  die. 

Lis.  [angry.]  Die  ! I can’t  help  it,  sir — it’s  no  affair  of  mine — I know 
nothing  about  it — this  1 know,  that  I never  wrote  that  letter. 

Nat.  I shall  go  distracted — mad — I know  I shall  ; I feel  myself  going 
mad  by  little  and  little — I shall  be  furious  in  a minute,  [going  to  cry.] 
— and  if  I arn,  wbo  will  care — not  Miss  Lisette  ! 

Lis.  \aside.'\  Poor  fellow  ! — I see  it  all  ; it’s  a joke  of  the  village  boys 
and  girls.  [aloiLd.]  Never  mind,  Natz  : never  mind — they  thought  to 
annoy  you  and  me,  and  perhaps  to  make  us  quarrel  ; — never  you  mind, 
they  shall  sec  us  better  friends  than  ever. 


7 


k 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


Nat.  [in  a pcf]  No,  I won’t — I won’t  be  friends  with  anybody — I’ll 
burn  the  village. 

Lis.  Oh,  for  shame  ! 

Nat,  [sobbing.']  And  I’ll  throw  myself  into  the  lake,  and  I — won’t — 
let — anybody — fish  me  out. 

Lis.  What  nonsense  you  do  talk. 

Nat.  [a5  if  suddenly  recollecting.]  Oh  law  ! do  you  know  that  I’ve 
sent  invitations  round  to  all  my  neighbors  to  ask  them  to  our  wedding. 
I’ve  ordered  the  music — I’ve  ordered  the  supper — I’ve  ordered  every 
thing. 

Lis.  [frightened  ] Oh,  my  goodness,  what’s  to  become  of  me  1 

Nat.  I’ve  uncorked  every  bottle  of  wine  in  my  cellar. 

Lis,  You  had  better  go  home  and  drink  it. 

Nat.  I’ve  killed  an  ox,  ma’am,  and  I can’t  eat  that — it  was  big  enough 
to  eat  me — and  I’ve  killed  ;wo  sheep — and  I’ve  killed  all  my  cocks  and 

hens — and  I’ve  done  worse  than  that Oh  dear  me — a faintness 

comes  over  me — I went  to  the  attorney 

Lis.  Law  ! you  havn’t  killed  him  ! 

Nat.  No  ; but,  whilst  I waited,  I made  him  draw  up  a marriage  set- 
tlement, which  gives  you  all  that  I possess.  Here  it  is,  signed  by  me  ; 
and  I thought  your  signature  would  go  just  there,  but  now — Oh  I shall 
be  the  laughing  stock  of  the  whole  neighborhood. 

Lis.  And  I,  too  ! — that’s  worse.  Was  there  ever  such  provoking  im- 
pertinence ! to  write  a letter  in  my  name  ! 

Nat.  [timidly.]  Yes,  and  I believed  it  because  I wished  it but  now, 
if  you  would  but  consent  to  turn  the  joke  against  them,  and  let  us  have 
the  wedding  in  earnest. 

Lis.  How  do  you  mean  I 

Nat.  [very  bashful.]  If  you  would  only  write  your  name  at  the  bot- 
tom of  this  page. 

Lis.  Only  write  my  name — a likely  story  ! — why  then,  you  know,  I 
should  be  obliged  to  marry  you. 

Nat.  And  that’s  precisely  what  I want. 

Lis.  Hold  your  tongue,  sir,  and  never  presume  to  mention  the  subject 
again  ; I have  vowed  I won’t,  and — and — 1 wonH — there  now. 

Nat.  Why  not  I 

Lis.  I say,  sir.  I’ve  vowed  that  I won’t  marry. 

Nat.  Yes,  but  then — why  notl 

Lis.  Why  not  ! Listen,  and  I’ll  tell  you. 


SONG. 

LIBERTY  FOR  ME. 

Here,  in  my  own  secluded  dwelling, 

The  charm  is  this, — that  I am  free ; 

If  I wed — oh,  sir,  there  is  no  telling 
How  very  gruff  my  spouse  may  be. 
And  that  I’m  sure  would  not  suit  me. 
For  if  I laugh  he’ll  think  it  wrong, 
And  bid  me  hold  my  tongue. 


8 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE, 


4 


Liberty  for  me — 

No  man’s  wife  I’ll  be  ; 

Liberty  for  me — 

I’ll  be  ever  free. 

I have  been  told  how  wives  are  slighted, 

And  no  rude  man  shall  use  me  so  ; 

If  I wed—  when  to  some  dance  invited, 

I have  no  doubt  he  would  say  “ no — 

My  dear,  stay  here — you  shall  not  go'' 

But  if  he  tried  to  clip  my  wing, 

I’m  sure  I still  should  sing — 

Liberty  for  me,  &c. 

Nat.  [angry  and  mimicking.^  Liberty  for  me,  indeed  ! If  you  must 
sing.  Miss  Lisette,  sing  sense.  I wish,  instead  of  singing  or  talking 
either,  you’d  act  like  a reasonable  being. 

Lis.  What  would  you  have  me  do  I 

Nat,  Take  a husband. 

Lis.  No,  no — not  I — why  should  1 1 

Nat.  He  will  love  and  protect  you. 

Lis.  Oh  dear,  there’s  no  necessity  for  that — you  love  me,  you  know 
— don’t  you  1 You’ve  told  me  so  a hundred  times. 

Nat.  [delighted.']  Yes,  so  I have  and  it’s  true. 

Lis.  Very  well — and  if  I were  in  danger,  would  not  you  protect  me  1 

Nat.  Yes,  that  I would. 

Lis.  Well,  then,  there’s  no  necessity  for  a husband  to  love  and  pro- 
tect me.  I don’t  mean  to  marry.  If  I married  anybody.  I’d  marry  you  ; 
for  you’re  a good  little  man,  with  an  excellent  little  heart,  and  a cosey 
little  farm. 

Nat.  Oh,  I’m  delighted. 

Lis.  Yes,  yes — but  I don't  mean  to  marry  anybody ; so  there’s  an  end 
of  that.  But  come  here,  I want  you  to  do  me  a little  service  : read  me 
my  dear  brother’s  letter. 

Nat.  [takes  letter.]  That  I will — it  is  the  second  letter  I’ve  read  to- 
day— heigho  ! — well,  well,  listen,  [reading.] — “ Camp  of  Prince  Charles, 
June  1st.” — and  now  we  are  in  the  middle  of  July  ! 

Lis.  I suppose  the  letter  has  been  detained  ; there  has  been  an  en- 
gagement since  then,  and  they  have  been  intercepted. 

Nat.  [reading.]  “ Dearest  Lisette.”  [looks  sentimentally  round  at  her, 
and  repeats  the  words.]  Dearest  Lisette 

Ids.  Go  on — you’ve  said  that  before. 

Nat.  [reading.]  Yes,  often — “ Nothing  new  to  tell  you,  always  fight 
ing  ; but  I hope  soon  to  get  a short  leave  of  absence,  and  shall  hasten  to 
see  you.” 

Ids.  Soon  ! and  that  letter  was  written  more  than  a month  ago  ! My 
j)oor  brother  ! after  fifteen  years,  how  happy  I shall  be  to  see  you. 

Nat.  [reading.]  “ But  you  must  not  expect  to  see  me  at  any  particu- 
lar time,  and  I am  sadly  disappointed  to  learn  that  there  is  no  chance 
at  present  of  my  being  greeted  by  a little  regiment  of  nephews  and 
nieces.  Why  don’t  you  marry  1”  [looking  round  at  her.]  Hem!  you 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


9 


hear — your  brother  says  “ Why  don’t  you  marry  V' — you  really  ought — • 

Lis.  How  dare  you  ! read  the  letter  if  you  please,  and  no  comments 
— go  on. 

Nat.  Aye,  that  I will — there  was  no  stop  there,  [reading.]  “ Why 
don’t  you  marry  Natz  I” — Hem  ! — He  would  make  you  an  excellent 
husband,  and  has  proposed  for  you.” 

Lis.  Who  presumed  to  write  him  that  bit  of  gossip,  I should  like  to 
know  1 

Nat.  {timidly.]  I did,  two  months  ago. 

Lis.  Without  my  permission  ! 

Nat.  Ma’am,  I thought  it  my  duty 

Lis.  How  vexatious  ! go  on. 

Nat.  {reading.]  “ It  appeared  to  me  a good  marriage — man  of  res- 
pectable family — good  fortune — and  devotedly  attached  to  you — ” 
There,  you  see  what  your  brother  says — shall  I read  that  bit  again  1 
[Lisette  turns  her  back,  annoyed.]  “ He  has  not  a commanding  figure, 
nor  can  I call  him  good-looking,  nor  fashionable ” 

Lis.  [exultingly.]  Yes,  yes, — I hear  what  my  brother  says — ^you  may 
read  that  last  bit  again. 

Nat.  No  thank  you,  ma’am,  {reading.]  “ But  this  is  no  reason  for 
refusing  an  excellent  young  man.”  There.,  I’ll  read  that  again  if  

Lis.  Go  on,  sir, 

Nat.  [reading.]  “ And  if,  on  my  return,  I find  that  the  good  I hear 
of  him  is  true,  I shall  insist  upon  your  marrying  him.” 

Lis.  Insist! 

Nat.  He  says  insist !”— -only  look. 

Lis.  [snatching  the  Utter.]  This  is  too  absurd.  My  brother  has  no 
right  to  interfere  in  my  affairs.  If  you  don’t  want  to  make  me  hate 
you,  you  will  never  allude  to  anytifing  so  disagreeable  again, 

Nat.  You  are  not  going. 

Lis.  Yes,  I am. 

Nat.  Let  me  help  ycm  with  your  basket. 

Lis.  {putting  on  her  basket.]  No,  you  shan’t. 

Nat.  Will  you  allow  me  to  walk  a little  way  with  you  \ 

Lis.  No,  I won’t ; and  now,  sir,  pray  never  let  me  see  your  face  here 
again — I am  not  going  to  make  myself  the  town-talk.  I wish  you  a 
good  morning,  sir.  [Exit  at  centre  door,  singing,  Liberty  for  me.” 

Nat.  Oh  dear  ! oh  dear ! I’m  worse  off  now  than  ever,  I’m  never  to 
come  here  again  ! Never  mind.  I’ll  put  an  end  to  my  miseries — I’ll 
put  an  end  to  myself.  I wonder  which  would  answer  best : to  throw 
myself  off  the  top  of  the  mountain,  or  to  drown  myself  in  the  lake.  I 
must  do  one  or  the  other,  and  yet — the  preceptor  says  it  is  so  naughty 
to  do  tbat  sort  of  thing,  and  I’m  sure  it’s  not  agreeable.  If  I had  but  a 
friend  who  would  stick  me  in  the  gizzardr— then  the  sin  would  be  off 
my  conscience.  But  I suppose  people  would  say  he  murdered  me  ! 
[martial  music  without.]  Whafs  that ! Soldiers  coming  down  the 
mountain  ! Foes,  perhaps — and  if  so,  they  may  pop  me  off  in  no  time  ! 
No — they  are  our  own  soldiers.  Well,  then,  I’ll  enlist,  and  then  I shall 
have  a chance  of  being  sbof  in  ^ respectable  way.  I’ll  beckon  to  them. 


10 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


[goes  to  centre  door  and  makes  Here  they  c wne — this  way,  gen- 

tlemen. 

Enter  Max  and  Soldiers  at  centre  door. 

Nat.  This  way — if  Miss  Lisette  were  here,  she  would  receive  you 
hersell — but  I’ll  do  my  best.  [bustles  about,  and  exit.  f.  s. 

M A X— S 0 N G . 

RECITATIVE. 

It  is  my  mountain  home  ! — yes,  I could  gaze  for  ever, 

Upon  the  lovely  scene,  oh  ! precious  to  my  heart ; 

'Twas  here  a happy  child,  with  light  and  joyous  footstep, 

I knew  each  secret  path  of  my  dear  mountain  home. 

[7Vie  Ranz  des  vaches  is  heard  on  the  mountain. 

What  do  I hear  ! 

It  is  the  thrilling  Ranz  des  vaches  ! 

Song  of  home  I love  thee  ! 

Wild  and  thrilling  lay  !* 

Oft  I’ve  sigh’d  to  hear  thee, 

Roving  far  away  ; 

But  my  heart  foreboded 
That  the  sigh  was  vain. 

And  I ne’er  should  listen 
To  that  song  again  ! 

Yet  once  more  I hear  it  ! 

As  in  dreams  ’twas  heard, 

While  I seem’d  transported 
To  the  spot  adored  ; 

With  a loved  one  gazing 
On  thy  tranquil  lakes  ; 

But  the  spell  is  broken 

When  the  dreamer  wakes  ! 

Song  of  home,  I love  thee,  &c. 

Max.  [To  Soldiers,  who  are  grouped  at  the  hack  of  the  stage. 1 — Come, 
boys,  we’ll  rest  here  a little  ; and  be  sure  you  observe  order.  The  first 
that  touches  even  a tomtit,  or  shoots  a rabbit,  will  offend  me  ; we  are 
now  in  our  own  country,  and  must  observe  strict  discipline. 

Soldier.  Yes,  yes. 

Enter  Natz,  with  tvine,  4’C.,  and  several  pewter  drinking  cups.  The 
Soldiers  sit  at  two  tables.  Max  remains  in  front. 

Max.  Hang  me,  if  we  have  not  lost  our  way  ! I thought  I knew 
every  mountain  path.  Ah,  tell  me.  young  man,  are  we  far  from  Heris- 
sau  1 the  regiment  ought  to  muster  there. 

Nat.  You  are  within  three  hours’  march.  I have  a farm  close  by, 
where  you  may  all  sleep,  and  have  everything  you  want.  [aside.'\ 
They’ll  make  away  with  my  ox,  and  my  sheep,  and  my  dead  cocks  and 
hens,  and  drink  the  wine  I uncorked  for  my  wedding.  Heigho  ! 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


11 


Max.  Thanks,  my  good  fellow  ; and  who  are  you  1 

Nat.  I’m  well  known  here — I’m  Natz  Tieck. 

Max.[  surprised.']  Natz  Tieck,  of  Appenzelll 

Nat.  Yes — why  are  you  surprised  1 

Max.  Oh,  nothing  ; only  I have  heard  you  well  spoker  of,  and  I’m 
glad  to  make  your  acquaintance.  Give  me  your  hand. 

Nat.  [shaking  hands.]  Then  do  me  a favor — let  me  enlist  in  your 
company. 

Max.  Oh,  you  are  jesting  ! 

Nat.  No — I’m  a miserable  little  man,  and  I want  to  be  shot. 

Max.  Want  to  be  shot ! 

Nat.  Yes  ; I wish  I was  bigger,  I should  make  a better  mark. 

Max,  Why,  what’s  the  matter  with  you  ? 

Nat.  I’m  crossed  in  love — I adore  a girl,  and  she  won’t  marry  me. 

Max.  Ah,  indeed  ! and  what  is  her  name  I 

Nat.  Lisette  Geierstein. 

Max.  [aside.]  Lisette  ! my  sister. 

Nat-  She  is  the  prettiest  girl  in  the  village  ; she  has  a brother,  cor- 
poral Max,  but  he  is  with  the  army, — perhaps  you  know  him. 

Max.  Hey — Max — Max — I’ve  heard  the  name. 

Nat.  And  do  you  know  he’s  coming  home  I 

Max.  I don’t  think  that  likely,  [aside.]  As  he’s  at  home  already. 

Nat.  Not  that  it  signifies  to  me — for  since  he  wrote  to  his  sister,  ad- 
vising her  to  marry  me,  she  has  treated  me  worse  than  ever.  I had  a 
contract  drawn  this  very  morning,  giving  her  all  my  fortune, — and  now 
I must  be  content  to  leave  it  to  her  in  my  will. 

Max.  Then  I suppose  she  does  not  love  her  brother. 

Nat.  Oh,  yes,  she  does. 

Max.  Then  she  dislikes  you  1 

Nat.  No,  sir,  she  don’t ; she  told  me  this  morning  she  liked  me  ; but 
that  she  never  would  marry  anybody.  She  likes  to  be  single — such  a 
thing  to  say. 

Max,  What  folly. 

Nat.  I told  her  so  here,  in  her  own  house,  not  an  hour  ago. 

Max.  This  her  house. 

Nat.  Yes  ; when  her  father  and  mother  died,  she  sold  the  house  thej 
used  to  live  in,  and  bought  this  chalet. 

Max.  [aside.]  All  shall  go  right.  This  her  house.  Ah,  I’ll  give  hei 
a lesson. 

Nat.  Were  you  talking  to  me,  sir  I or  speaking  confidentially  to 
yourself  I 

Max.  Go  and  fetch  the  certificate  of  your  birth.  You  must  show  me 
that  before  you  enlist. 

Nat.  [drawing  up.]  Oh,  certainly, — if  you  have  any  doubts  about 
who  I am. 

Max.  Oh,  you  mean  to  quarrel  with  me. 

Nat.  No,  sir,  by  no  means. 

Max.  Then  go,  and  do  as  I bid  you — go  instantly. 

Na^.  Oh^  very  well,  [aside.]  What  rough  brutes  ! I shall  be  as  bad 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


\2 

I suppose,  when  I join  the  corps, — that  is,  if  I don’t  soon  get  popped 
off.  [Exit,  V.  8. 

Max.  [looks  through  the  centre  door.]  Ah,  I sec  her  ; I am  sure  it  is 
my  sister.  She  comes,  she  comes.  I cannot  contain  myself  I must 
run  and  kiss  her.  Yet,  no — now  or  never  : she  must  be  taught  wisdom. 
My  lads,  come  hither. — [the  soldiers  gather  round  him.] — Listen  to  my 
orders. 

First  Soldier.  You  have  only  to  give  the  word. 

Max.  Well,  then,  my  lads.  I’ve  changed  my  mind.  I told  you  not 
even  to  kill  a rabbit,  but  I give  you  leave  to  rummage  the  yard,  and  the 
garden,  and  throttle  every  duck,  goose,  cock,  hen,  and  guinea-pig,  that 
falls  in  your  way.  Awoy,  aw^v  ; let  the  havoc  begin. 

[some  of  the  soldiers  go  out  r. 

Enter  Lisette  in  great  annoyance^  l.  The  Soldiers  are  rummaging 
the  house,  taking  a frying-pan  and  other  kitchen  utensils^  a basket 
of  eggs  from  a closet,  ^c.  Great  noise. 

Lis.  Good  gracious  ! soldiers  ! gentlemen  ! what  are  you  all  about  1 
Oh  dear  me  ! 

Max.  Oh,  my  beautiful  darling,  we  intend  dining  here,  and  thought  of 
course  you  would  furnish  the  board  well,  we  thought  it  right  to  help 
you. 

Lis.  But  who  gave  you  permission  to  dine  here  at  all  1 What  will 
become  of  me  1 

Max.  [with  unconcern,  addressing  a soldier.]  Oh  she  is  pretty,  certainly 
— and  now  that  she’s  flurried  she  looks  prettier  than  before — there,  what 
a blush. 

Lis.  None  of  your  nonsense  here,  sir,  if  you  please  1 Oh  dear  me, 
I’ve  nothing  ready — you  had  better  go. 

Max.  No,  no — we  want  no  dainties — bread  and  cheese  and  kisses. 

Enter  several  Soldiers — one  with  a rabbit,  one  with  pigeons,  one  with 
a little  pig,  one  with  a fowl,  all  killed. 

Sol.  See  what  wc  have  got — glorious  fare. 

Max.  Ah  ! now  for  the  list  of  the  killed  and  wounded. 

Lis.  Oh  the  wretches — they’ve  killed  all  my  pets ! [sne  runs  after 
them,  one  after  another,  trying  to  snatch  from  them  the  fowl  and  other 
things.] 

Max.  Well  done,  my  boys — and  now  all  we  want  is  the  key  of  the 
wine  cellar. 

Lis.  And  that  you  shan’t  have  for  your  impudence. 

Enter  Soldiers  with  baskets  of  wine,  r. 

Max.  Thank  you,  my  dear — see,  the  lads  have  forced  the  door  : and 
now  we’ll  drink  your  health. 

Lis.  [running  from  one  to  aiiother^  Oh  this  is  beyond  bearing — my 
best  wine  that  I was  keeping  for  my  brother ! 

Max.  Your  brother — oh  stuff!  I’ll  drink  his  health,  and  it  will  do 
your  brother  as  much  good  as  if  he  drank  it  himself. 

1st  Sol.  And  now  for  the  health  of  our  hostess,  and  I for  one  claim  a 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


13 


kifs.  [they  run  towards  her^  she  tries  to  escape— interposes  and 
pushes  them  back.^ 

Max  No,  no — keep  your  distance. 

Isi  Sol.  [aside.]  Oh,  ho  ! — the  corporal  wants  to  keep  her  to 
Lis.  [throws  herself  into  a chair.]  I shall  die  of  vexation. 

Max.  Comcj  come — a song,  a song,  to  cheer  our  pretty  hostes». 

SONG^Max. 

With  these  we'll  bivouac. 

He  who  wears  a regimental  suit, 

Oft  is  poor  as  is  some  raw  recruit, 

But  what  of  that ! 

Girls  will  follow  when  they  hear  the  drum, 

To  view  the  tassel  and  the  waving  plume 
That  deck  his  hat  1 

Oh  ! he  will  sing  when  he’s  not  on  duty. 

Smoke  his  cigar,  or  flirt  with  some  gay  beauty. 

Oh,  vive  I’amour,  cigars  and  cognac. 

Hurra,  hurra,  hurra,  hurra  ! with  these  we’ll  bivouac. 

CHORUS  OF  SOLDIERS. 

Oh  vive  I’amour,  &c. 

Max. 

When  we  march  into  a country  town. 

Prudes  may  fly  from  us,  and  dames  may  frown ; 

All  that’s  absurd  ! 

When  we  march  away,  we  leave  behind 
Prudes  and  dames  that  have  been  vastly  kind — ^ 

Pray  take  my  word  ! 

Off,  off  we  go,  and  tell  them  we’re  on  duty, 

Smoke  a cigar,  and  seek  for  some  new  beauty. 

Oh  vive  I’amour,  &c. 

Chorus  as  before. 

During  the  symphony  which  ends  each  verse  of  the  Chorus  ths 
Soldiers  heat  time  on  the  table  with  their  pewter  drinking  cups, 
making  a sort  of  staccato  accompaniment. 

Lis.  They  will  positively  stun  me  ! 

Enter  Is/  Soldier  with  an  apron  and  cap.  r. 

.st  Sol.  The  dinner  is  ready — come 

Lis.  Dinner  ! 

3Iax.  Come,  will  you  not  join  us 
Lis.  No,  certainly  not — 1 wonder  at  your  assurance 
3fax.  Oh,  very  well — adieu  for  the  present ; you  must  promise  to 
make  yourself  very  agreeable  in  the  evening.  Come  along,  my  lads. 

[Exeunt  Max  and  Soldiers,  singing  the  chorus  r.  2 e. 
Jjis.  Oh  dear,  oh  dear  ! They  will  stay  in  my  house  all  nixrht ! — and 


14 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


perhaps  to-morrow  ’ — and  possibly  fifteen  days  ! What  a prospect ! I 
must  go  to  the  police — stop  though — if  I go  away,  what  will  become  of 
my  goods  and  chattels  ! 1 have  no  nearer  neighbor  than  Natz — and 

ISatz  is  a bachelor — and  then  I haven’t  been  very  kind  to  Natz,  arid 
shouldn't  like  to  go  to  him  ; besides,  were  I to  go,  I dare  say  they’d 
burn  my  house  in  my  absence — such  people  would  do  anything.  Oh — 
I hear  somebody  coming — oh.  I’m  so  terrified  ! — how  I will  scream  I 
[loo^s  out  at  centre  door — delighted.^  Oh  no  — I breathe  again — it’s 
Natz. 

Enter  Natz,  with  a bundle  hung  on  a very  long  swords  c. 

Katz.  Don’t  be  frightened,  it’s  only  me. 

Lis.  No,  I’m  not  frightened  now. 

Nat.  [coldly.]  I did  not  take  the  liberty  of  calling  to  see  yoUy  ma’am, 
I’m  come  to  meet  the  corporal. 

Lis.  To  meet  the  corporal  I 

Nat.  Yes,  ma’am — to-morrow  Fm  going  a soldiering. 

Lis.  Surely  you  jest ! 

Nat.  No,  ma’am,  it’s  no  jest — that  is  to  me.  I went  to  fetch  some 
papers,  and  this  great  big  sword  which  belonged  to  my  great  uncle, 
Alexander,  who  was  a grenadier.  WTio  knows  what  I may  live  to  be  1 
Where’s  the  corporal  1 

Lis.  Oh,  he  and  his  men  have  turned  my  house  upside  down  ! 

Nat.  Upside  down  '!  law  ! Then,  I suppose,  you  don’t  quite  know 
whether  you’re  standing  on  your  head  or  your  heels  ! Well,  the  sooner 
we  are  all  off,  the  better — here’s  a paper  I wish  you  to  take  care  of — 
[goes  to  his  bundle  and  takes  one  out.] — No — that’s  the  certificate  of  my 
birth — heigho  ! I wish  I had  never  had  any  birth  days  ! — [takes  out 
another.] — No — that’s  the  marriage  contract— that  goes  into  the  bundle 
again.  Ah,  here  it  is — it’s  my  last  will  and  testament,  and  it  won’t  be 
my  fault  if  you  don’t  soon  enjoy  all  the  comforts  it  bequeathes  you. 
Don’t  open  it — till  you  hear — I’m  shot — or — or — stuck  in  a vital 
part. 

Lis.  Don’t  talk  so,  Natz 

Nat.  No,  I won’t  talk  at  all.  My  presence  here,  I know,  is  disagree- 
able. Good  bye,  for  the  last  time — God  bless  you. 

Lis.  Oh,  don’t  go — no,  not  disagreeable,  [aside.]  What  shall  I do,  if 
he  leaves  me  here  alone  with  the  soldiers. 

Nat.  Oh,  that  you  would  but  say  that  you  wish  me  to  stay 

Lis.  1 do,  I do — a friend  at  this  moment  may  be  of  essential  service. 

Nat.  Don’t  be  kind  now.,  if  you  mean  to  be  cruel  'presently. 

Lis.  Hark,  I hear  the  soldiers  ! Oh  stay  here  to-night — only  to- 
night— its  a favor  one  might  ask  of — any  ncigbbor — to-morrow  you  can 
go  if  you  wish  it — you  can  occupy  that  room,  \_points  to  door  on  the  left. 

Nat.  To  be  sure.  Oh,  I’m  a happy  man  again.  [Exit^  l.  h. 

Lis.  I shall  be  less  frightened  now,  for  a lone  woman  in  a country 
house  is [noise  without.]  Oh,  Natz,  Natz,  come  here. 

Enter  Natz — he  has  left  his  bundle  in  the  room^  l. 

Nat.  W' hat  is  the  matter  ! 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE* 


15 


Oh,  these  horrid  men — you  must  not  leave  me,  Natz.  I see 
you  are  sadly  tired  with  your  long  walk,  and  night  is  coming  on — 
but  — but  — look  there — the  armchair  — make  yourself  comfortable 
there,  if  you  can. 

JV’fltr.  isUs  in  a large  arm  chair  on  the  right  of  the  stage. 1 There — a 
prince  could  not  be  more  comfortable.  I am  very  tired  certainly  ; very — 
and  very  sleepy.  I should  not  dislike  falling  asleep  for  an  hour,  for  I 
should  dream  of  you.  [Lisette  goes  to  the  other  side  of  the  stage j and 
sits  upon  a little  th  ee  legged  stod.l 

Lis.  Hush — sleep  now  ; I may  want  you  to  protect  me  by  and  bye, 
and  I will  call  you,  if  there  is  any  danger. 

Nat.  You  are  a great  way  olf.  Ah,  I thought  I should  have  been 
far  away  by  this  time,  [ijawns.^  I certainly  am  drowsy — I wonder  how 

I shall  look  in  regimentals What  was  I thinking  about  1 I’ve 

killed  all  my  cocks  and  hens.  Heigho  ! \_falls  asleep.^ 

Lis.  He  is  fast  asleep,  [noise.^  Ha  ! Oh  as  it  gets  late,  I get  more 
and  more  alarmed.  I feel  so  lonely  out  here  by  myself,  \_gets  up  softly^ 
and  very  quietly  creeps  across  the  stage  with  her  little  stools  which  she 
places  quite  close  to  Natz’s  chair.,  and  then  sits  down  in  it  ] 

Lis.  I’m  much  more  happy  now. 

Enter  Max  behind. 

Max.  [asidc.'[  Ah,  she  would  not  let  him  go ; sitting  side  by  side, 
too.  All’s  right,  [^aloud.']  Hem  ! 

Lis  [jumping  wp.]  Mercy  on  me  ; the  corporal ! 

Max.  Yes^  my  darling — [affecting  to  be  tipsy — aside.~\  I’ll  pretend  to 
be  tipsy  ; women  are  always  frightened  at  tipsy  men.  \_aloud.^  I’m  come 
to  make  love  to  you  : I always  make  love  best  after  dinner,  [following 
her  about.] 

Lis.  [aside.]  How  disagreeably  sound  Natz  sleeps. 

Max.  Come,  give  me  a kiss. 

Lis.  Don’t  insult  me,  sir. 

Max.  Insult  you  ! — nonsense.  Your  little  husband  there  could  not 
object  to  your  giving  me  a kiss — shall  I ask  him'! 

Lis.  That’s  not  my  husband. 

Max.  I naturally  thought  he  was,  finding  you  just  now  so  close 
together,  snoring  a duet. 

Lis.  Sir,  I wasn’t  asleep,  and  that  young  man  didn’t  snore.  He  is 
not  my  husband,  I say ; and  I don’t  mean  to  marry. 

Max.  Oh,  then,  you  may  kiss  me  as  much  as  I please,  [runs  after 
her.] 

Lis.  [running  about.]  Oh,  Natz,  Natz,  Natz. 

Nat,  [starting  up.]  Oh,  such  a nice  dream  ! Ah,  what  do  I see  1 

[runs  between  Max  and  Lisette.] 

Max.  [pulling  him  rounds  and  getting  next  to  Lisette.]  Why  do  you 
interfere  '! — she’s  not  your  wdfe. 

Nat.  Alas  ! no. 

Max.  Is  she  your  sister '! 

Nat,  No,  she  is  not. 


10 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


Max.  {blustering.']  Is  she  your  niece  1 or  your  cousin  ! or  your  aunt  1 
or  your  grandmother'! 

iVa/.  She’s  no  relation — but  for  all  that 

Max.  Go  about  your  business,  then. 

Nat.  I shan’t  stir  a step.  Miss  Lisette  asked  me  to  stay,  and  stay  I 
will — may  I not '!  {to  Lisette.] 

Lis.  Ye — yes — certainly — ’tis  to  oblige  me  you  stay. 

Max.  Oh,  I see  it  all  now  ! you  are  her  lover '! 

Nat.  Well,  I never  said  I wasn’t. 

Max.  And  so  am  I — I love  her  to  distraction. 

Lis.  Oh  my  gracious  ! 

Max.  Resign  her  to  me  this  moment, 

Nat.  Never. 

Max.  If  you  don’t 

Lis.  Let  me  entreat 

Max.  {coldhj.]  Pray  don’t  meddle,  ma’am.  Men  must  settle  these 
matters  with  flint  and  steel,  and  powder  and  shot.  Leave  us  alone — we 
shall  not  be  long — and  one  or  other  will  come  back  to  comfort  you. 
Fortunately  for  me.  I’m  in  good  practice. 

Nat.  I can’t  shoot  a bit ! 

Lis.  Oh,  sir,  I implore 

Max.  {furiously  pointing  to  door.]  Leave  us. 

Lis.  Oh,  I’m  so  terrified  ! {Exit,  l.  h. 

Max.  Now,  sir,  I expect  you  to  follow  me.  In  a quarter  of  an  hour  I 
shall  wait  for  you  at  the  bridge  ; be  sure  you  do  not  disappoint  me. 

{Exit  centre. 

Nat.  A quarter  of  an  hour! — then,  I suppose,  in  twenty  minutes  I 
may  expect  a bullet  to  go  right  through  me.  I should  not  have  minded 
that  so  much  this  morning,  but  now 

Lis.  {'pee'ping.']  Is  he  gone  '!  Oh  Natz — are  you  really  going  to  fight 
that  blustering  fellow'! — he’ll  eat  you  up  ! 

Nat.  Perhaps  so — it  does  not  much  matter  what  becomes  of  me. 
[Lisette  cries.]  W'hat  do  I see — crying  for  me  ! Will  you  think  kindly 
of  me  when  I’m  gone'! 

Lis.  Gone — oh,  I know  not  what  you  mean  by  gone — ^you  must 
not  go. 

EiUer  Max  behind,  looking  at  them  and  smiling  unperceived. 

Max.  Why  don’t  you  come  “!  — {touching  his  sword.]  — some  one 
expects  you. 

Nat.  {aside  and  going  up  the  stage.]  How  provoking — to  be  cut  in 
half  at  such  a moment  I 

Lis.  {to  Max.]  I know  what  you  intend — but  you  shan’t  kill  him — 
one  who  is  so  very  dear. 

Alax.  Lear  I to  whom '! 

Lis.  {confused.]  To — to  his  friends  and  his  family,  to  be  sure. 

Max.  He  has  no  family — he  is  a bachelor,  like  myself  Were  he  a 
family  man,  I would  not  for  the  world  run  the  risk  of  depriving  a wife 
of  her  husband. 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


17 


Lis.  [quiekly.l  Oh,  you  would  not  ? — then  you  did  not  know  he  was 
a married  man  I 
Max.  He  is  not  married. 

Lis.  Oh  yes,  sir,  he  is — I’ll  take  my  oath  of  it. 

Max.  [to  Nat.]  Oh,  that  alters  the  case.  Come  here,  sir. 

Nat.  [coining  forward.l  I am  ready — I’ve  been  screwing  up  my 
courage,  and  now  for  it. 

Max.  No,  no,  my  good  fellow ; I did  not  know  you  were  a married 
man. 

Nat.  Who  : I “I  married  ! 

Lis.  [aside. 1 Say  yes — I desire  you. 

Nat.  Oh,  yes,  yes — ^married' — what  was  I thinking  of  1 — I had  quite 
forgot  it.  How  one  does  forget  little  things  sometimes. 

Max.  What’s  all  this  1 — there  is  some  mystery  ! 

Lis.  Oh,  only  family  reasons. 

Max.  Oh,  I beg  pardon — no  business  of  mine— who  is  his  wife  1 
Lis.  His  wife  I — Did  you  ask  who  is  his  wife  '1 

Max.  Yes  ; a married  man  must  have  a wife,  I suppose  ; and  see 
her  I will,  or  else — ^ — 

Nat.  My  wifel  I — I — [aside.]  What  shall  I do  for  a wifel 
Lis.  [courtesying  to  Max.]  Hem — Pm  his  wife,  sir. 

Nat.  [aside.'l  What  do  I hear  I Oh,  dear  Lisette. 

1j%  [sings  aside  to  him.] 

Now  don’t  presume  on  what  I’ve  said, 

To  save  you  from  the  man  I dread ; 

To  let  you  call  me  wife  was  kind. 

But  ’tis  a jest,  pray  bear  in  mind. 

Nat.  [aside.]  A jest ! only  a jest. 

Max.  Oh,  I beg  ten  thousand  pardons — Mr.  and  Mrs.Natz  Teik,  pray 
have  you  any  family  'I  Let  me  see  the  little  people. 

Lis.  We’ve  no  little  people,  sir. 

Nat.  Except  ourselves,  and  we’re  not  very  big,  there  are  no  little 
people  in  the  house,  except  your  own  little  drummers  and  lifers,  [aside.] 
What  shall  we  do  for  little  people  1 

Max.  Well,  do  you  know,  I can’t  account  for  it — but  I cannot 
persuade  myself  that  you  are  really  man  and  wife,  [to  Lisette.]  Go 
and  kiss  him,  my  dear. 

Lis.  Kiss  him,  sir  ! 

Nat.  [aside.]  Oh,  it’s  all  up,  now — she’ll  never  do  that. 

Max.  I’m  sure  you  are  deceiving  me,  and  his  blood  shall  flow. 

Lis.  Oh  dear,  no- — not  at  all — why  should  I not  kiss  him  % [asidei] 
Here’s  a pretty  job.  the  stage  and  kisses  Natz.] 

Nat  How  very  delightful ! 

Lis.  [singing  aside  to  him.  Max  goes  behind  watching  them.] 

Now  don’t  presume,  young  man,  on  this, 

You  see  Pve  saved  you  with  a kiss  ; 

To  condescend  so  far,  was  kind — 

But  ’tis  a jest,  prav  bear  in  mind. 


18 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


Nat.  \aside.'\  Another  jest — heigho  ! 

Lis.  \^to  Max."  Well,  now  I suppose  you  are  satisfied! 

Max.  No  ; show  me  your  marriage  contract. 

Lis.  [asiWc.]  Oh  dear  me,  what  am  I to  do ! 

Nat.  Contract — well,  to  be  sure — it’s  in  that  room,  in  my  bundle 

Lis.  [aside. 1 Oh — Ac  has  signed  it,  and  it  is  in  his  bundle.  Ye«,  yes, 
sir,  ril  go  and  fetch  it.  [Exity  l.  h. 

Max.  You  see  young  man,  I am  not  to  be  imposed  upon. 

Nat.  [a.side.'\  She  is  gone  to  fetch  it — but  it  is  only  signed  by  me  I 

Enter  Lisette — gives  'paper  to  Max. 

Max.  [reading."]  Ah,  this  looks  well.  Signed  I see,  by  Natz  Tcik, 
and  underneath  by  Lisette  Geierstem.  All’s  right. 

Nat.  [delighted.]  Signed  I what  do  I hear ! 

Lis.  [aside.]  Hold  your  tongue.  [Max  goes  to  a table  and  writes.]  My 
brother  has  not  signed  it,  and  the  contract  is  not  worth  a sous. 

Max.  [comes  forward  and  overhears .]  That’s  not  true.  Look  here, 
my  dear  brother  and  sister. 

Nat.  What  do  I see  ! — signed  “ Max.” 

[Lisette  throws  herself  into  her  Irother's  arms. 

Nat.  Are  'you  Max  1 

Max.  Yes,  and  I have  made  my  sister  happy  against  her  will. 

Enter  Soldiers  and  Peasants. 

Nat.  Ah,  here  you  all  are — come  just  in  time  to  wish  me  joy  in 
earnest — I’ve  not  killed  my  cocks  and  hens  tor  nothing.  This  is  Mrs. 
Natz  Teik,  after  all ! 


FINALE. 

Max. 

Man  ! a lesson  I have  taught  you  here, 

If  a maid  is  cruel — persevere. 

She’ll  be  more  kind  ; 

And,  fair  maid,  you  have  your  lesson  too, 

Ere  you  spurn  a man,  be  sure  that  you 
Know  your  own  mind. 

If  I am  near,  be  sure  I will  assist  him. 

And  you  hear  him  sing,  when  I enlist  him. 

Oh  vive  I’amour,  cigars  and  cognac. 

Hurra,  hurra,  hurra,  hurra,  with  these  we’ll  bivouac. 

CHORUS. 

Oh  vive  I’amour,  &c. 

Lis. 

Since  it  seems  that  T am  fairly  caught, 

Let  me  teach  you  all.  as  I've  been  taught. 

Good  wives  to  be. 


THE  SWISS  COTTAGE. 


19 


Though  he’ll  guard  me  when  there's  danger  nigh, 
Tm  the  manager — he  must  not  try 
To  manage  me. 

In  my  own  house  I’ll  try  to  do  my  duty, 

And  welcome  here — good  humor,  youth,  and  beauty. 

And  if  you  go,  I hope  you’ll  all  come  back, 

Hurra,  hurra,  hurra,  hurra,  with  me  to  bivouac. 

CHORUS. 

Oh  vive  I’amour, 


VSB 


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rE.^'tcu  ,'  ,.;v  — ^T'’.4  ■*!j<aoji-.k77  j>uA(  ^ % 

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" • .■-  ’‘Ki  •,.:>_  -• 

' 1,^  . ..: .^  ' ;aF ’ . ' 


‘7'/ 


(Catalogue  cmlinued  from  second  page  of  cover.) 


VOL.  XLII. 

329  Ticket  of  Leave  Man 

330  Fool's  Kevenge 

331  O’ Neil  the  Great 

332  Handy  Andy 

333  Pirate  of  the  Isles 

334  Pan  chon 

335  Little  Barefoot 

336  Wild  Irish  Girl 


VOL.  XLIII. 

337  Pearl  of  Savoy 

338  Dead  Heart 


Hamlet,  in  Three  Acts 
The  Oath  of  Office 


Guttle  & Gulpit 


containing  Eight  Plays. . 


to  the  Stage,  by  Leman  Thomas  Rede.  Containing  Clear  and  Full  Directions  for  obla^ing 
■SfE^a^men^with  complete  and  valuable  instructions  for  beginners,  relative  to  salaries,  ^ 

Mine  through  Rehearsals , securing  proper  dresses,  conduct  at  a first  appearance,  &e.,  & 

of  the  principal  English  and  American  Theatres.  Edited  and  adapted  to  the 


iddia  % list  - 

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Mawey’s  Exhibition  Reciter  and  Drawing  Room  Entertainments,  cts. 
Blbg  choice  Recitations  in  prose  and  verse.  Together  with  an  unique  collection  of 
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By  Charles  Massey,  Professor  of  Elocution  at  Burlington  College,  N.  J.,  and  Me- 


The  Two  numbers,  bound  in  cloth.  School  style 75 

dramas  for  the  Drawing  Room,  by  Miss  Keating 40 

^lays  for  the  Parlor,  by  Miss  Keating 46 

Acting  Charades,  by  Miss  Pickering 40 

be  Miller’s  Own  Jest  Book - 40 

life  of  a Showman,  by  David  Prince  Miller j 40 

unch  and  Judy,  Illustrated- 40 

omic  Dramas,  for  College,  Camp,  or  Cabin,  (Male  Characters  only,) 40 

ramas  for  Boys,  (Male  Characters  only,)  by  Miss  Keating 40 

iome  Plays  for  Ladies,  (Female  Characters  only.)  complete  in  2 parts each  40 

n Evening’s  Entertainment,  an  original  Comedy,  a Burlesque  and  Farce 40 

lakspeare’s  Proverbs,  by  Mrs.  Cowdin  Clarke 30 

laygoer’s  Journal,  3 parts — each  30 


THE  ETHIOPIAN  DRAMA. 


o.  1.  Robert  Make- Airs. 

2.  Box  and  Cox. 

3.  Mazeppa. 

4.  United  States  Mail. 

5.  The  Coopers. 

6.  Old  Dad’s  Cabin. 

7.  The  Rival  Lovers. 

8.  The  Sham  Doctor. 

9.  Jolly  Millers. 

10.  Villikins  and  his  Dinnah. 

11.  The  Q,uack  Doctor. 

12.  The  Mystic  Spell.  . 

13.  The  Black  Statue. 


Mo.  14. 

Uncle  Jeff. 

15. 

The  Mischievous  Migger. 

16. 

The  Black  Shoemaker. 

17. 

The  Magic  Penny. 

18. 

The  Wreck. 

19. 

Oh,  Hush ! or,  The  Vir- 

ginny  Cupids. 

20. 

The  Portrait  Painter. 

21. 

The  Hop  of  Fashion. 

22. 

Bone  Squash. 

23. 

The  Virginia  Mummy. 

24. 

Thieves  at  the  Mill. 

25. 

Comedy  of  Errors. 

The  above  Dramas  have  been  produced  with  the  utmost  care,  not  only  to  the  conectness 
the  text,  but  to  all  the  Stage  Directions,  Properties,  and  other  minutiae,  pertaining  to 
iir  being  properly  placed  on  the  Stage.  Although  these  Dramas  are  specially  adapted 
Ethiopian  entertainments,  they  are  well  fitted  for  Private  Theatricals* 


NOTICE. — Owing  to  the  continued  increase  in  price  of  Press  Work,  Paper  and 
^DiNG,  we  shall  he  obliged  to  charge  Fifteen  Cents  atJRetail^forthe  Standard  and  Minor 
,AMA. — January  1st,  1864. 

Any  of  the  above  sent  by  Mail  or  Express  on  receipt  of  price. 

SAMUEL  PRENCH,  Publisher, 

122  Nassau  Street,  (Up  Stairs.) 
Agent  for  Lacy’s,  Cumberland’s,  and  Webster’s  English  Plays. 


FKENCH’S 

Price  15  C 


, I. 

1 The  Irlah  Attorney 

2 Boots  at  the  Swan 

fiTK  of  a Lover 

« Shot 

6 His  Last  Legs 

Prince 

8 The  Golden  Parmer 
« ■ VOL.  II. 

? J J?®  Tutor 

12  The  Barrack  Room 

13  Luke  the  Laborer 

14  Beauty  ana  the  Beast 

15  St.  Patrick  s Eve 

16  Captain  of  the  Watch 

VOL.  III. 

17  The  Secret  fn/^rs 

20  The  Bottle 

21  Borx  and  Cox 

22  Bamboozlinsr 

23  Widow’s  Victim 
■24  Robert  Macaire 


VOL.  X. 

7S  Ireland  and  America 


MINQe  dram^ 

Bound  Volumes  *1.26. 


liKKSsNisgsilg.... 

76ro^l’an,s  and  Back  for  ia«  1219  AdonJ-J^L.'*’ 


VOL.  XXVJ 


O.  « ^OL,  IV. 

25  Secret  Service 

26  ( >mnibus 

27  Irish  Lion 

28  Maid  of  Croissy 

29  The  Old  Guard 
w Raising  the  Wind 
81  Slasher  and  Crasher 
”2  Jsaval  Engagements 

VOL.  V. 

S O California 
34  Who  Speaks  First 
uriosc 

3b  Macbeth  Travestie 

37  Irish  Ambassador 

38  Delicate  Ground 

S In®  ^ ®atbercock  [Gold 

40  All  that  Glitters  is  Not 
_ . VOL.  VI. 

41  Gnmshaw,  Bagshaw  and 

Bradshaw 

42  Rough  Diamond 

fj  Costume 

ff  Two  Bonuycastles 

45  Born  to  Good  Luck 

46  Kiss  in  the  Dark  .[jurer 


77  That  Blessed  Baby 

78  Our  Gal  ^ 

79  Swiss  Cottage 

80  Young  Widow 

VOL.  XI. 
fii  ?7i®““*8an  and  the  Fa. 
82  Irish  Post  fripo 

bI  Neighbor’s  Wife 
84  Irish  Tiger 

Br  rp  • and  Tiger 

86  Jo  Oblige  Benson 

87  State  Secrets 

88  Irish  Yankee 


VOL.  XII. 

QA  ®®®d  Fellow 
q?  Pair  Star 

91  Gale  Breezely 

92  Our  Jemimy 

93  Miller’s  Maid 

94  Awkward  Arrival 
9.J  Crossing  the  Line 
9o  Conjugal  Lesson 

o,,r  ''"OL.  XIII. 

97  My  Wife’s  Mirror 
OQ  w New  York 
I 99  Middy  Ashore 
1 100  Crown  Prince 
.101  Two  Queens 
102  Thumping  Legacy 

103Gnfin4edGelaLan 

1104  House  Dog 
I VOL.  XIV. 

.^over 

tub  Matrimony 

and  Out  of  Place 
InQ  Mother 

109  Hi-a-wa-tha 

110  Andy  Blake 

111  Love  in ’76  [ties 

112  Romance  under  Difficul- 


Erock 
Comedy  and  Tragedy 

151  Dutchman’s  Ghost 

152  Persecuted  Dutchman 

153  Musard  Bal?^’ 
gr®at  Tragic  Revival 

®®“‘^®“an  from  iS! 
157  Tom  and  Jerry  i lanH 
IM  Village 

IM  ® A-miss 

160  Amateurs  and  Actors 


2M  the  I 1 

*28  Siamese  Twins 
224  Sent  to  the  Towi 
9..ra  T’OL.  XXIX 
Somebody  Else 
226  Ladles’  Battle 
nnl  Acting 


230  ofMa. 

oo?m^  Husband’s  Gl' 

*1 

232  Fighting  by  Proxy  I 

VflT.  's-i'v  ' 


Ifii  [oal  233  Unprotected  Pm,i 

95ft  vrv..  Oa-.-  ..  •' 


v/auuio 

164  Shakspeare’s  Dream 
Neptune’s  Defeat 

Take  Care  of  Little 
168  Irish  Widow  [ Charley 

iftov  yOL.  XXII. 

Peddlar 

170  Hiram  Hireout 

Sa Hoorn 
The  Drama  Defended 
if  Wool  Dealer 
JZ?  Ebenezer  Venture  [ter 
17^  from  Charac- 

176  Lady  of  the  Lake  (Trav) 
VOL.  xxiir. 


236  Who  Stole  the  Pi 

237  My  Son  Diana 

238  Unwarrantable  In 

239  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Whit 

240  A Quiet  Family 
^ VOL.  XXXI. 

241  Cool  as  Cucumber 

242  Sudden  Thoughts  ■ 
‘243  Jumbo  Jum 

244  A Blighted  Being 

245  Little  Toddleklna 


j VUUICAJUJ 


VOL.  XV. 

}ff  9°^  2 Suits 

114  A Decided  Case 

115  Daughter  [nority 


VOL.  VII. 
tn  Cox  Married  and 

o rp  [Settled 

51  Go-to-bed  Tom 
62  The  Lawyers 

53  Jack  Sheppard 

54  The  Toodles 

55  The  Mobcap 

56  Ladies  Beware 


VOL.  VIII. 

67  Morning  Call 
M Popping  the  Question 

59  Deaf  as  a Post 

60  New  Footman 

61  Pleasant  Neighbor 

62  Paddy  the  Piper 

63  Brian  O’ Linn 

64  Irish  Assurauco 


116 No;  or.theGloriiSsMy 
117  Coroner  s Inquisition 
Tin  Humble  Life 

119  Family  Jars 

120  Personation 


VOL.  XVI. 

121  Children  in  the  Wood 

122  Winning  a Husband 

123  Day  after  the  Fair 

124  Make  Your  Wills 

125  Rendezvous 

126  My  Wife’s  Husband 

127  Monsieur  Tonson 
Illustrious  Stranger 

131  The  Corsair  Norah  Creina 


--  ■ Mad  .^ogE 

178  Barney  the  Baron 

179  Swiss  Swains 

180  Bachelor’s  Bedroom 

1 flo  ^ Holand  for  an  Oliver 

182  More  Blunders  than  One 

183  Dumb  Belle 

184  Limerick  Boy 

VOL.  XXIV 

Philosophy 

186  Teddy  the  Tiler  ^ ^ 

187  Spectre  Bridgroom 

188  Matteo  Falcone 

189  Jenny  Lind 

190  Two  Buzzards 

191  Happy  Man 

192  Betsy  Baker 

VOL.  XXV. 

}oft  Interest 

J^^My  Fellow  Clerk 
1 197  Bengal  Tiger 
Lf  ghing  Hyena 
J^®  Vanquished 

200  Our  Wife 

VOL.  XXVI. 

201  My  Husband’s  Mirror 


247  Maid  with  tne  M 

1248  Perplexing Predic 

040  T.  ^'CL.  XXXII. 
249  Dr.  Dilworth 
2^  Out  to  Nurse 

251  A Lucky  Hit 

252  The  Dowager 

253  Metamora  (Burlesc 

254  Dreams  of  Delusioi 

255  The  Shaker  Loveri 

256  Ticklish  Times 

..VOL.  XXXIII. 

257  20  Minutes  with  a T 

258  Miralda:  or,  the  Ji 

of  Tacon 

259  A Soldier’s  Courtsl 
2W  Servants  by  Legacy 

261  Dying  for  Love 

262  Alarming  Sacrifice 

263  Valet  de  Sham 

264  Nicholas  Nickleby 

VOL.  XXXIV. 

265  The  Last  of  the  PIgl 

266  King  Rene’s  Daughi 

267  The  Grotto  Nymph 

268  A Devilish  Good  Jo 
‘269  A Twice  Told  Tale 
270  Pas  de  Fascination 


o,  VOL.  IX. 

65  Temptation 

66  Paddy  Carey 

67  Two  Gregorios 

68  King  Charming 

69  Po-ca-hou-tas 

70  Clockmaker's  Hat 

71  Married  Rake 

72  Love  and  Murder 

VOL.  XXX VM, 

All  the  World'*  oSl«,fe 
Qim*h,  or  Nigger  Practice 
Z^l  I urn  Him  Out 


131  The  Corsair 

132  Shylock 

133  Spoiled  .Qhjld 

134  Evil  Eye 

135  Nothing  to  Nurse 

136  Wanted  a Widow 


."*2  Pr 


•^‘»3  Arig,.|„f  (he  AtUc 
^■'4  Ibrcurnotanceii  AlterCane* 

Knity  O'Hheal 
A Sufiper  in  Dixie 


VOL..  XVIII. 

137  Lottery  Ticket 

138  Fortune’s  Frolic 

139  Is  he  Jealous  / 

140  Marric'^'  ^iachelor 

141  Mu8i,and  at  Sight 
147  iriHhmanlii  Loyt;[on 
143  Animal  Magnotisin 
|144  Highways  and  By-Ways 


204  Good  for  Nothing 

205  The  First  Night 

206  The  Eton  Boy  . 

207  MAndering  Minstrel 
1208  Wanted,  iOOO  Milliners 

/OL.  XXVII. 

•20b  Poor  Pilcoddy 


VOL.  XXXV. 

273  The  Olio,  Parti 

274  The  Olio,  Part  2 

275  The  Olio,  Part  3 i 

276  The  Trumpeter’s  Dai 
2ii7  Seeing  ACarren 

278  Green  Mountain  Boi 

279  That  Nose 

280  Tom  Noddy’s  Secret 


211  pon’tForgetyour  Opera 

212  Love  in  Livery 

218  Anthony  and  Cleopatra 

214  Trying  It  On. 

215  Stagu  Struck  Yankee 

216  Young  Wife  & Old  Um- 
brella 


,282  A Regular  Fix 

283  Dick  Turpin 

284  Young  Scamp 

285  Young  Actress 

286  Call  at  No.  1-7 

287  One  Touch  of  Natur 

288  Two  B’hoys 


ri>*  Any  Play  sent  by  Mail  or  Express,  on  receipt  of  15  cents,  in  money  or  sU 
All  orders  will  receive  prompt  attention. 

*,  * An  Alphabetical  List  of  3000  Plays  sent  by  Mall  on  receipt  of  a Postage  SU 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  Publisher,  122  Nassau  St.  (up  staii 


